restoring your sanity -- a 12-step program

How to unleash all your pent-up aggression and recover from a really crappy day:

1. Go bowling.

2. Go bowling late at night for discounted prices ($1.00 shoes/lanes).

3. Go bowling with a good friend.

4. Beat your friend at bowling.

5. Beat your friend four times. (He will, of course, insist that he's letting you win.)

6. So then beat your friend left-handed, and by a margin of nearly 40 points.

7. Watch your friend's tap-dance lessons as a 5-year-old pay off as he strikes the most amusing poses upon releasing his bowling ball... especially when he's bowling left-handed, too.

8. Laugh heartily.

9. Dance in your slippery fluorescent shoes to the retro techno music that's just a shade too loud to hear yourself think.

10. Get lots of free bowling coupons from the really cool bowling alley manager.

11. Go home and take a bath to remove the stale cigarette odor from your hair.

12. Fall asleep in the bathtub.