the gentlemen of panera

I realize the title of this blog sounds a bit like a play by Shakespeare, and maybe there's a subliminal reason behind that. But what I'm really excited to talk about is my discovery -- namely, that Panera Bread is the place to find bonafide, old-fashioned gentlemen.

On my every-other-Friday paydays I have created a little ritual of stopping in at Panera on my way to work to treat myself to a delicious bagel and hot chocolate for breakfast. I've been doing this for months now, and I've noticed the most wonderful trend: every single time I stop by, there is a man either arriving or leaving at the same time that I enter. And every single time I've had this encounter, the man has stopped dead in his tracks, either coming or going, and held the door open for me. Some have even opened both doors (as most Colorado businesses do, Panera has a double-door entryway to help block out the cold in winter). I don't know why this always happens at Panera as opposed to, say, Williams-Sonoma or Safeway. But it does, and I now look forward to it even more than the bagel and hot chocolate.

Nothing puts a smile on my face -- or any woman's face, for that matter -- more than a man with manners. It's one thing when my date opens the car door for me... he's supposed to do that, he's trying to impress me and get on my good side, he has an agenda. But when a complete stranger opens a door for me simply because he is a man and I am a woman... gosh, I just LOVE that! That is the mark of a true gentleman, and such wonderful behavior is guaranteed to keep a smile on this woman's face for the remainder of the day.

The only thought that makes my smile diminish somewhat is that this behavior is commendable because it is so rare and extraordinary these days. In the old movies I love to watch, this behavior is not only common, it's socially demanded. An entire plot could revolve around such manners... I think of A Letter to Three Wives, and how one of the women actually "caught" her husband by forcing him to act like a gentleman and open doors for her. Front doors, restaurant doors, car doors... she waited until he acted like a gentleman to show him that she was worth being treated like a lady. By simply being the woman that she was -- by expecting to be treated like a woman -- she enabled him to start acting like a man.

I wonder what the world would look like if we women stopped asserting our independence and started asserting our femininity. It's one thing for my date to open the car door for me as we're getting into the car; but I've always wanted to sit in that car and wait until he came around to open it for me to get out. I admit that I've been too chicken to do that, just as there have been times when I've arrived at a restaurant door ahead of my date, and I've simpy reached for the handle myself, instead of standing and waiting for him to flex his good-manners muscles and open it for me.

What would the world look like if we women started expecting to be treated as such? It would probably be full of more smiles, as are my Fridays after going to Panera. It might even look a bit like Shakespeare...