always stand by you

The past few months have been a rather difficult season in my life. It's been a time of discovering exactly who my true friends are... and it has had many surprising and painful results. And I admit, I've been wallowing a bit -- feeling sorry for ourselves comes so naturally, doesn' it? -- and moping that life isn't going my way and no one understands what I'm going through. I've tried talking to friends and coworkers in my usual way of sorting out my thoughts and feelings through lots and lots of words (verbal or written!), but it's not helping.

Well, as another timely reminder from the Lord this week (I love it when He does that!), the song "I Will Always Stand By You" by The Violet Burning just popped up on my iTunes shuffle. I frequently listen to music at work, just to fill the background of an otherwise monotonous, cubicle-clad day, and most of the time don't even pay attention to what's on. But when this song began, it was like the lyrics were being shouted in my ears:

Well I know, 'cause I've been there, too.

I instantly had a mental picture of the Garden of Gethsemane, when Jesus, too, had a moment of finding out exactly who His true friends were. He knows exactly what it feels like when someone you cared for and thought you knew turns their back on you and rejects you. The song continues:

I will always stand by you
I will always love you
So cry out to me
And I will run to thee
When the night comes down around you

I was instantly chastised. He is the one I need to turn to, vent to, pour out all of my words and thoughts and feelings to, because He is the Only One who truly loves, truly understands. And He doesn't just sit around waiting for me to turn to Him. He is not a passive listener. No, He runs to meet me!

Like the little child who wanders away from her parents at the playground, insisting she is enough of a "big girl" to play on the swings all on her own, I have tried to manage this challenging season of my life all by myself. And like that same little girl who inevitably falls off the swing and begins to cry, I've hit the ground and been hurt. And like the parent who instantly recognizes his child's cry and rushes to her aid, Jesus runs to find me, to meet me right where I'm at, to pick me up in His strong arms and comfort and heal me.